Late Thoughts Listening To The Rain

Dirty...

Cold rainy boulevards make me warm.
I ask myself do I have time? What for?
To see my goals come to fruition.
To see the rage leave me.
I'm not soft or sentimental & this isn't a way of coping.
I'm just here wondering.
What is it that makes me feel spectacular?
Like being surrounded by 100's of people & being the realest one.
Like going in the same direction others are but my path is blazened.
I lay here wondering why I didn't shower.
Maybe its cuz I know I still wouldn't be clean.
You ever smelled good, looked good, but felt bad?
All doctored up on the outside, but no medic on the inside?
I feel bad for the people that don't feel like this.
I feel this way cuz God is speaking to me.
He gave me the gift of expression since I was silenced for so many years.
He made me look this good cuz I used to feel ugly.
All things work together.
Worried about fitting in & brotherhood when what I needed was a father.
Feeling like a bastard but He never left.
700 billion can't save a soul...

**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni