Private Symphony

You see inertia and sluggishness are synonyms to sloth.
Then that means phlegm and congestion are synonymous with cough.
So I guess a fireplace and a smooth rug are synonymous with stroke.
Not tonight though because here I sit alone, drunken with sleep as the television is still on. Move after movie, this is the third time I've seen Bad Boys today.
Its night time but the light by my bed make my eyes dance with haze.
I made some calls today, none of them really important; my cousin's upset about his Mexican chick getting deported.
I try to listen intently but I cannot focus, I change the channel and it's the movie Mr. Holland's Opus.
Script after script, line after line I want to rip all my hair out and cause the stoppage of time.
I tire of this self blame and self hate stupid ignorant adjectives I repetitively duplicate.
No one is here now my value is net zero; no one talks to me on IM, so tonight the yellow running man is not my hero.
Eating is psychologically depleting, drinking as well.
I should workout my stress but oh well.
I haven't the strength or the stamina to lift anything else heavy. You would understand if your brain held a tank.
You would understand if your heart was holding the weight equivalent to the money in the vault of a bank.
I could cry but I don't wanna mop up the Atlantic, I could talk to another woman but she's an um bop like the song by Hanson.
Tragically my girlfriend died today in accident so sickening, it used to be her singing to me but now I conduct my own private symphony…

**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni

The Danger of President Barack Obama

**I was going to put a disclaimer here stating that I don’t want any attacks or flack over this HOT topic I am going to speak about. Not anymore take what I’m talking about for what it’s worth**

First off, congratulations to Barack Obama being the first African-American president of the United States! Wait… Isn’t he mixed with white and black??? Let me correct myself, congratulations to the first ever Mixed American being elected president! Wait… that’s not a race, that’s slang… I’m confused…Ok, I got it congrats to the 44th president Barack Obama. Yea, that’s better.

1st Point: Race

I have been annoyed for a long time with this issue concerning Barack Obama since he was announced as a runner for the highest position in the land. To call him black is a funny statement to me given he is mixed with white blood as well. This is not the real issue though. To say he is mixed is unfair… Want to know why? Ever since slavery we have been mixed with whites due to them raping and coveting black women who were originally 100% African. It was after this that the term “mixed” came into existence. Why do you think there are light-skinned people and dark skinned people? I saw someone on Facebook say that, “…He is black because we as a people are considered that if we have one drop of black in us we’re black.” Let me re-write that… “…He is black because we as a people are considered that if we have one drop of black in us we’re black.” To put this statement in context, they were defending people who voted for Obama because he is black. I don’t have to tell you how foolish and sad that is. There are many people I presume simply voted because he is a “black” man and this is history. Be careful of trying too hard to make history or you’ll make the wrong kind. The general consensus I have been getting from people I’ve spoken with about this subject is that now blacks as a whole feel they have a voice. They now feel like they are true Americans. That’s excuse my language, bullshit! I you don’t feel like you have a voice that’s YOUR feeling. I am a man just like any other but I never felt like that regarding this country. Why? If I wanna be heard I’ll write, I’ll make a video, I’ll perform. I’ll DO something. Of course no one will hear you if you don’t stand up ALL the time! Black people feel extremely proud as we should, but we can’t forget that it’s not over… It never will be. Racism is in the fabric of this nation, it was BUILT on the death of the Indians and the enslavement of us, well not US but our ancestors. Yes we have been stereotyped by our race, killed for our race, imprisoned for our race and ridiculed for our race. Let me tell you something Obama is no savior! He is an ordinary man who did an extraordinary thing ANY ONE OF US could have done! All you have to do is go hard at your goal and you will achieve if you keep God first and you give it 100%!

2nd Point: WE DID IT!

This phrase perplexes me. Like for real… I understand that this was the highest turn out since women achieved the right to vote at the end of the women’s suffrage movement. Honestly though, we didn’t do it. We HELPED! White people elected Obama into office! Know why? BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF THEM THAN US!!!! Asians helped, Hispanics, all races were participants in this! We can’t take credit for some the nation collectively as a whole did. Let me ask you why was there not a record turnout of people in opposition of the Sean Bell case? Why not a record turnout when Timothy Thomas was killed? Reason being black people came out because they felt like they benefited from this. Why must things only be done on a large scale when we profit from it. Now this is where I get real upset. I know almost certainly that a lot of people voted for Obama without knowing his policies. The mantra of, “I’m voting because he’s black since we’ve been persecuted for being black” does not help us as a people AT ALL!!! It only continues the cycle of discrimination. How? Since we are being targeted for our skin complexion and hate it, now we target him for a vote because of his skin complexion and think it’s ok???? Sounds like hypocrisy to me. What will be interesting to see is when he starts making policies and recommending bills what the reaction will be. Tax cut is the magic word to get votes because who DOESN’T want to pay less to the government? Who DOESN’T want to hear about the economy getting better? Politicians say what it takes to get in the door after that they can do whatever they please so long as it doesn’t get them impeached. He achieved a great milestone for the race of African Americans, but remember don’t get blinded by the hype.

3rd Point: Change Has Come

What change is this? A non-white in office? Yes that’s a GREAT change! Last I checked though crack is still being slung to our youth, teen pregnancy and abortion numbers still exist. We’d much rather party and get drunk than read the Bible (Not true for all just some people!). We still are racist to others and each other (remember the phrase I don’t like dark-skinned or light skinned people in reference to companion choice). One man can’t fix a race torn apart by drugs, sex, money, violence, racism, despair, and murder. Only GOD can fix that. Why rest your faith in a man who you think understands you??? He doesn’t know you intimately; he can’t touch your soul in a significant way. Yes a change has come to America, but don’t be sheep yet AGAIN! Think for yourselves!!!!

4th & Final Point: My Stance

If you’ve read to this point, glad I have your attention. You are better at listening than those who just write something off because it’s not in agreement with their opinion. If you noticed I never talked about politics. Never endorsed a candidate or changed my picture or donated my status or any of the millions of other things people did to endorse their candidates. Why? I didn’t VOTE! “Oh my God, a black man who didn’t vote! He’s misguided, he doesn’t understand what our people went through to get the right to vote!” Trust, I know full well the triumph and the tragedy of getting the right to vote. I will not be forced by anyone to make a choice I don’t want to make. I don’t trust politicians, I believe them to be liars and manipulators. That’s my opinion. I have never knocked anyone for voting and I’m not saying I’ll never vote I just didn’t this time. For what? To say I was a part of history? No! I am a black man who has never been to prison in a society set up for that. I have no kids. I know God and am actively seeking Him. That’s history to me. Do I want a cookie? Nah, I’m not patting myself on the back for that nor do I want congrats for what is normal for a law abiding citizen. I’m saying MAKE YOUR OWN HISTORY! I was so low at one point I was near death and I came back! When I came back I vowed never to conform to anything or be one of the many, I will be the ONE. I make my destiny with God’s permission. I control who represents me which is me. Another man can’t speak for me better than I can speak for myself. This is in no way an attack on Obama or black people. This is a partially impartial take on this past election and the state of my people. If I didn’t say anything I’d be conforming. Remember that… & don’t pray for Obama because you think he’ll get killed. That would have happened a long time ago while he was running. He’s meant to be where he is. Pray that things get better in the world and pray for your fellow man just because, not because it’s the thing to do. God doesn’t answer those. I know because I used to pray like that…

What are your thoughts?

**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni

Vacancy

She’s a pretty young thing; got a smile that’ll make you melt, but if you looked into her eyes you’d see how her heart really felt. She came from a broken home, daddy wasn’t around, he was uptown with another woman getting down wit tha get down.

Yes, he was a cheater, she wanted to tell mommy but she knew she wouldn’t believe her. It took him to have the brazenness to do it in their house, & she spared no expense in kicking his ass out. He started beggin, “Please baby, Please!” He even went so far as to get on his knees. He knew she was religious so he played on that, even after it was his face on which she spat. He said, “Darlene, God says forgive!!” She retorted, “God will have to forgive me for not letting you live!” He left, too ashamed to say goodbye to me, & that was the last time she saw Robert Lee. She asked her mommy was she ok, she said, “Just go outside & play!” This was her example of a fatherly influence, a weaker defense than a person who crashes & has no insurance. No advice on how to deal with boys’ advances, that’s why she gave it up to a cute boy @ one of the school dances.

She didn’t get a rep for being a slut, cuz she had this air that was all grown up. Honestly she stopped maturing when her daddy left, & the knowledge she had of boys was far from in depth. She bounced from love to hate, from good to great, too pissed to the point where she began to hallucinate. The only thing that quelled it was a sexual exploit; she left being stuck on stupid & moved to the next point. She had a crew in high school, roll dawgs that always chilled; they still cool cuz they all stayed real. They got action cuz they were all pretty, but their emotions were like Ohio’s weather, always shifting. College was just the same, new club songs, but the same old game. Lustful looks that indicated attraction, sweaty sex that they each thought was satisfaction. Ursula was pretty, legs for days, if sperm were bullets, her face absorbed strays. Then there’s Whit, she’s short, but real thick, they call her “Bic”, cuz if dude’s dicks were pens, she always made the ink come quick. Rochelle also known as “Roxy” was out of all four the most shocking. She was bisexual & loved it unprotected, her attitude was bad & she refused to check it. Lastly, you got Jasmine also known as Jazzy, cuz when she sexed, she’d have Miles Davis blasting.

She’s the main character you know about her, so there is no need for you to infer. Time has passed, the roll dawgs are all still cool, minus one, Roxy’s reckless ways put a set to her sun. She caught some virus & it wiped her out, messed up thing is dude said nothing before he piped her out. Ursula & Whitney grew up, changed their ways, & grow disgusted when they think of what they call their “hoe phase.” Jasmine slowed down, but is still the same, new club songs, same old game. Ursula is pregnant with a loving husband; Whitney’s married as well & now knows what true fun is. Jazzy just got into an argument with a dude, he tried to get his homie some too, & she thought that was rude. “What you think I’m a hoe?!” He said, “Yea..” She hung up & was filled with despair.

She’s angry because her decisions have given her a hoe’s disposition. She’s just a hoe that wants to be wifey, but she’s wrong cuz none of these titles are to a real man’s liking. Now Whitney’s pregnant & is happy as can be, Jasmine is mad on a bench wondering why both of them have kids in the bakery. It’s a warm day, & she wipes her brow feeling like an aimless bee, even though she is often called honey. She looks at her hand & realizes her choices are the reason why her ring finger has a vacancy…

**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni