Switching Between Gangsters

The inspiration for this Joint is the fact that blacks in America have to play many different roles. From talking slang with their friends, to talking professional in the corporate world. The man that says "What up homie?" is the same man that says, "Good afternoon sir, how are you today?" I'm making an everyday occurance known to others...Enjoy...


So I wake up & think, "Should I dress up, or dress cool? Should I be suave or be perceived as a mindless fool? Today I don't care, I'll just throw on the do-rag wit a fitted and sweats, but the kicks gotta be clean, that's why my forces are scuff-less." On my way to class, it's a frigid morning, wondering the weather for later, cuz the gray clouds I see now tells me it may be storming. It's about 7:15 in the AM, class starts in fifteen, but who do I run into on the way, that racist Justine. Now she won't admit it, "I have a lot of black friends! I love 50 Cent too, 'What Up Gangsta' is my jam!" I hate this girl but I play the polite demeanor, cuz if I act how I feel Lord knows it will displease her. I get enough of her jokes & I grin just to make her think I find them funny, deep down I wanna pimp slap her & ask her, "Where's my money?!?!" Now I'm no woman beater, but I should be paid for putting up with this shit, she even has something racist to say when she's putting on lipstick. "Did you know those nice Negroes used to jump in the ocean & catch the sharks for the white men so they could make this lovely product?" ….I should have let her say that to a Black Panther & laugh after he shot her. As if that wasn't enough she had another joke behind that…"What's the difference between a black man & a large pizza?" Me being falsely interested, I ask, "I don't know what?" She says, "Well, both can be bought but only one can feed a family of four! HAHAHA!" She tickled herself pink, I can't even think, if murder was a limit, well now I'm at my brink. I say I gotta run or I'll be late for class, she says, "Ok, I understand you go on & practice!" I'm perplexed…"What do you mean, 'practice'?" She replies, "Well I know you blacks have to stay in shape, you never know when you have to run from a cop when he scans your stolen car's license plate!" I just sprint as fast as I can before I incur a murder rap. If I said that to her she'd prolly reference music & have a joke for that. Class is not interesting... maybe it's cuz it's 8:20 in the morning & I'm one of four in the room. I get startled when behind me I hear a "boom". One of my classmates fell asleep & fell out of his desk, funny...but not that funny, so I digress. 10:20 now, time to head to work, but first I have to change this tee shirt. Barnes & Nobles is not an interesting job; it's just books & stuff, good thing I love to read otherwise I'd be bored as fuck. Oh wow, there she is…Pauletta. I noticed her the first moment she entered the store about two weeks ago. She is beautiful, long hair, nice teeth, & a great body. The only snag is she's white. I know that it's 2007 & people are more accepting of it, but that makes me no difference. There are still people who would kill both of us in an instant. Nah, she will be my unrequited love, my inspirational muse, she will be the reason I am the best to another woman cuz I can't be it for her. Besides, I can't be thinking about girls anyway, I got an interview tomorrow for an office position….

Next morning…

Which suit should I wear? I'm liking the dark navy blue with a navy blue tie & a shirt that's pear, I may be worrying too much but I know they'll care. Gotta run can't be late for an interview, that's a very bad impression, & even if I get the job that may be a factor which causes limitation to my progression. I walk erect, when I shake his hand I look him the eye as a sign of respect. I keep my shoulders relaxed, fidgeting is not present, I'm not nervous here I get it. We banter back & forth, then we get to business, he wants to know what I can offer this place, & what would motivate him to hire me so he could see more of my face. I go into the spiel, given him all the good qualities I'm able to wield. This job is pivotal to me. I would be permanently avoiding the home violence, the gunshots, the hookers, the teen mothers with no fathers to help, this is that shit no person should ever have felt. Unfortunately I did not get the position, so I go home saddened by the results, as I walk to the door you can guess who pops up with another one of her insults…
"You look nice in your suit!" She says. I'm waiting for it though…"I didn't know apes cleaned up so well!" There it is…I wanna dump her pale ass off the side of a building for that & tell her "You're white! You'll be iight!" Instead I just walk past her, I ain't got time for racist pranksters, she'll never understand I was switching between gangsters...

***I have never worked @ a Barnes & Noble nor is there a girl named Pauletta, this one is based on experiences blacks face, part of it is me, the other parts are imaginary but it's based on true events.***

**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni

Diary

Dear self,

I told my self that asking for help is really lame! I looked in the mirror & said, “you are weak!”
Dumb for trusting an idiot to avidly search my psyche for reasons to y I act the way I do. Dreaming Irritates A Rattled Youth. Doesn’t that mean then that, if I were to dream I would be announcing my shaky roundabout way of dealing with young, but old issues? Diary, does my fear of intimately telling you my asinine mistakes really make you interested, or are you just playin me for info? DO you want the incendiary comments often abated when a friend asks for advice even though they really need it? Yelling could get attention, but in the end it’s just wasted breath. 5 letters mean so much to so many, but why also do so many Die Infinitely Alone Reflecting eternally on their Youth? Maybe later you’ll answer me diary…

- JioVanni

Visual Possession

**If you ever see someone who is very attractive, but can’t find the words to tell ‘em this one is for you…**

I captured you like a picture captures an image, my exposures don’t do justice to your visage. When you walk I wish I was the ground embracing your heels, I’m jealous that cement over me, knows how your body feels. Black boots that come up to your lower knee, so sexy…they send a shiver through me. Then you have a black mini skirt that teases me no doubt, I’m intrigued to see when you step forward & your honey thighs come out. The peach shirt throws me loopy, I make more of it than it is, wondering why did you choose me? Your hair is a pendant given to me by someone of great importance, I bet when comb you don’t have to force it. Your lips shiny from the gloss, I’d like mine to slide off yours when they finally meet. Your shape reminds me of a brilliant constellation, as I gaze @ it one could see I’m in deep contemplation. I want your hands to rub my back after a long day, but I don’t need that cuz your eyes take the pain away. This Joint is metaphor heavy, yea, I know, I’m just letting you know it saddens me when you go. Cuz I don’t know you, I just saw you walk by me, but I was so shy I couldn’t say hi…see… so as you fade in the distance I feel such gloom, your picture is ruined cuz the light turned on in my darkroom…

- JioVanni

The Crib

Even as I write this I’m already disgusted, like the purchaser of a new car finding out a tire’s busted. Often I detach myself from myself so I can connect, now I have to look myself in the mirror and that’s a hard point to check. I’m not racing, but you see the flag, the white one you wave when life makes your days drag. When you think about it, the crib is a futile prison, one you outgrow & can no longer live in. Wooden or metal, calm or unsettled, as you grow in age you should believe you are leagues above that level. An infant’s dreams become a nigga’s lullaby, but a nigga’s tough so no time to cry, a nigga gives up, no time to try, but in pursuit of ass they’ll be no waning of that lustful eye. Lick your lips girl, rock ya hips girl, yeah make ya tongue swirl, THAT’S MY GIRL!! Now get out…what? My nut is busted, I’m happy so I don’t care if you’re disgusted. GET OUT!!!! When I think about it, this is acceptable behavior, what do you expect from a boy who says money instead of God is his savior? You see an infant only knows what it wants, and what it don’t, all that other nonsense can get lost in a cloud of smoke. Wake up for self, sleep for self, your feelings are like an old trophy collecting dust on the shelf, rarely used, but your cat is often active, you sweat so much, your face is gonna break out and you’ll be asking Diddy for Proactiv. Tha crib is a black man’s incarceration, a way to divide him from the world & subtract his concentration. You goin to tha crib, oh fa sho’ homie, just make sure you take your diapers and ba-ba so you won’t be lonely. It’s funny you say you a grown ass man, but you live in a crib making me think you eat your meals from a gerber can. I remember when it used to be about talking to the girl, then it transformed into grabbing the girl, now you cum on the girl, or in her, make her get an abortion which shatters her world. But go ‘head tough guy, let ya rims spin, you think you gon’ win? Oh you mad? It ain’t my fault your whip and crib are your way to make up for the big dick you wish you had. Think of the girl you made kill the seed, all for your power and greed, making her cry more than the Piston’s Rasheed. What if your mother gave in & chose to do what she did, not only would you not be here, but you wouldn’t live in a crib…

** To my black MEN...STOP BEING NIGGERIZED!!!!!!! **

- JioVanni

For My Black Bella Donna

For my black bella donna, I, would grab the sky, capture it in it’s entirety, do anything, even start a riot see? I’m fightin with myself over you. I’m not the type to tell you how fly I am, you should know that from my name, I don’t have hot lines cuz your warm heart is not a game. Like a napkin I’ll be the one to wipe away the dirt & maintain your beautiful appearance, those other guys you just wanna run through you & take all they can like a shopping mall that has a clearance. See I’m an ar-tiste, I paint a picture with words with such ease, I hope you understand it now, if you do just say, “capisce”. I look into your eyes & I see emptiness & hate, you messed wit so many guys cuz you were hopin one could relate. Mean words surface like, “bitch, ho, & bop”. Thought you were getting soul sustenance not realizing you were in a candy shop. Lollipop, Jolly Rancher, while you getting yaself wrangled, disposition getting mangled, all the while another schemer is comin up with a new angle.

Who am I? Am I Mr. Right?
Who am I? Am I your shining knight?
Who am I? Your comforter that keeps you warm @ night?
Who am I? You think I rub your legs & kiss your arm cuz I want your body?
Who am I? I’m the guy sayin, “Nah, I’m jus treatin you nicely { British Accent }.

You don’t believe me, ya lips twist & squirm, meanwhile your true feelings are what I’m tryin to discern. You bein so taciturn, why give up on all of us? You believe all of us dogs, well I ain’t bark once. “Fuck!” is the only way it will come from me, a choice expletive which exemplifies the amped up me. Problem? You still don’t believe? Have I licked my lips once while gazing @ your countenance? Have I tried to withdraw from you like you are a 3 letter dream? Or have I put into you since we started this conversation thing. My aim is not to change your life, it ain’t even to try & make you my wife. I just want you to know that there is a good man, & no matter how much you get beat or knocked down you’ll always rise again. Whether it’s an effect of physicality or a broken mentality, I need you to understand that it’s a formality. If it ain’t hard then it ain’t worth it, shake it baby, the haters off, so I jus gave you a new definition of sayin, “work it.” To sum it up, I didn’t say this to in any way harm ya, I also didn’t say it as a weapon I got to disarm ya, keep ya guard up, I don’t want to alarm ya, but if you don’t start cultivating yourself people will call you a bad farmer, but don’t worry about what they say cuz in the end concentratin on them will be the real thing that will harm ya, I’m jus sayin…
I still love you my black bella donna.

- JioVanni

Replaceable

Beyonce and all the women got me thinkin.. this may offend you.. but then again everybody ain't gon like my stuff, but whatever...it's here..

Ok, I have no problem with women being confident that they can find another mate, but why make that pain of his/her mistake become even more great? Is it worth it to have that finally victory, and have his name live among your friends in infamy? What's the point? You caught him doing his dirt, he proved he wasn't worth it, like a fattening dessert. Let him be he'll learn one day, you were a gift but he treated you like a toy & chose to play. Believe it or not I've been there, I found out my so called "love" did not care. Yea she cheated I didn't, I was faithful she wasn't, still doesn't give me the right to make her pay forever does it? I'm not a Nostradamus, or another famous predictor, but it's better to have loved and lost than let the cheater be the victor. I don't understand why guys & girls say "fuck bitches, get money", say it in front of your mom and see if she thinks it's funny. I'm proud to say I've never called a girl a bitch, even though some irked me, like an unreachable itch. I got no problem with a woman with her head high, but if he cheats, something says you didn't really know that guy. If you saying right now, "well he showed his true colors" you need to get your eyes sharpened cuz clearly their getting duller. Watch a man before courting, I mean watch him well, people can say what they want but only time will tell. If you go for the guys that stay in the club, then you should know faith is something he ain't capable of. If you go for a girl who is about drinking, smoking, cars & cash, don't be surprised if another guy gets some of that ass. I mean what do you expect if you looking for gold, & picking off the surface cuz you're scared to break the mold. That's right step back re-evaluate the situation, so in the future you won't have these kind of complications. No man or woman is worth crying over, unless she delivered your first-born like a soldier. To all the ladies saying "to the left" or "you must not know bout me" are making a mistake you see. While you're so concerened with replacing a dude, you're gonna turn off the good ones with your new attitude. If you make a guy feel like he's replaceable, be real wit me, how long you think he gonna stay with you? I've felt this way believe me, & it ain't good, it's sad like shoes hanging from the wires in the hood. Don't judge all of us by one lame's actions, it's clear he wasn't ready for your type of satisfaction. You wanted to kick it & have a chat wit him, & all he wanted was a girl who would go after him. We gotta get our priorities straight, pretty soon it will be too late. It won't matter who is replaceable or not, or any of the material posessions you got. Don't be harsh, that's something of which you should not be capable, & if you make someone feel replaceable, you just became replaceable.

- JioVanni

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The Rain Soaked Boulevard

This was my first poem...Born, I believe it was a rainy night, that`s why when lightning strikes I`m not filled with fright. I’m fulfilled actually, so when the rain drips off of me, the demons pass me. I don`t like the sun, really I don`t, it reminds me of what I can do, but just won`t. Power`s cut off, ps2 for hours, but I welcome the interruption of heavy showers. Babies cry, mothers hold them tight, not me, I know everything will be all right. I stand alone, even in a crowd full of people, who would`ve known I could ever not be feeble. Chap Stick applied to my lips, they`re kind of dry, I look up to God & I ask how high, is the sky, & why must I continually try, when I really jus wanna yell, simply because of the fact that I`m afraid to fail. One night after me & my mom had an altercation, my personality had a new alteration, it wasn’t a good sensation, in fact it led to me & God having weakened relations. I asked him that night, why must I cry, & when I do why does another part of me die? I`m supposed to get stronger, but the anger & sadness last longer. I feel weaker, while my future continually looks bleaker. I must have walked two miles in the rain, who knew for a mother, a son could hold such disdain. I hear from girls that my eyes are pretty, but what I saw & see through them makes me feel shitty. Ladies look, but they don’t say much, maybe because it`s clear to them that I’m out of touch. I keep wantin’ my dream to come to fruition, but I keep gettin limited by women’s intuition. Who knew I would amount to this, maybe life would be better if I was a chemical alchemist. Nah, too much work for me son, take the easy route that`ll be much more fun. Then what will you think when your life is done? Forget all that I`m young, I gotta live, but won`t my mind become less active? See all of this thinkin in only 5 minutes, with my complicated life no wonder women are hesitant to get in it. Once paid a visit to an old place, hopin it`ll put a smile on my young face. It did, just for a little bit, now it`s back to the same old miss, she`s yellin, I`m repellin, God make her stop sendin punches to my melon. I`m cryin as a result of what she jus did, these can’t be man actions so I treat myself like a kid. She`s done, whew! The drink made her pass out; too bad that doesn’t do anything for the mark on my mouth. Patter, patter, patter, patter, I hear it so clearly, feels 1000 miles away but I lay so nearly. Creative juices flowin now, I cant stop it, it`s like a rapper`s hustle, it`s hard to knock it. I must be dreaming I have to assuredly, cuz there`s no way peace would ever pursue me. I`m on the boulevard walkin’ nice & slow, the rains constant, so God don`t stop the flow. I feel it in my heart, every fiber of my being, the rain IS me, & it gave me the reason to start believing......

- JioVanni

Reason To Stay

Dialogue:
Female – “I’m tired of this, I never get to see you! When will I see you again, honestly?
Male – “I don’t know…”
Female – “I can’t deal with this anymore…I love you, you are a wonderful guy, the best I’ve ever met, but I think we’d be better off as friends…
Male – “…”
Female – “Hello?”
Male – “Yea…”
Female – “Look, it’s not the end of the world, I’m not saying forever, just for now…”
Male – “…”
Female – “You ok?”
Male – “Yea…”
Female – “Honestly, why should we stay together?”

The mouth is a liar, the face can be too, no matter what though a subconscious reveals what’s in you. If only it was as easy to read like a defense being looked @ by Peyton, it sucks though through a receiver you caught on how I tried to pass by the issue. Moments like this make me wonder why I miss you, it’s hard to love you, but easy to diss you. Believe it or not I knew this conversation would occur, it’s like an unattractive girl that likes me & I treated the problem like her. Avoid it at all costs, beat it, get lost, if I was aroused, seein you would make me go soft. Buttering you up with the “baby’s”, “boo’s”, “sexy” or whatever, knowing our elevator is going down and there is no emergency stop lever. I’m not Superman, I can’t move it back to the top, I thought my “love” was strong enough to make it stop, instead I’m sitting here disappointed like I dropped an album & it flopped. From Me To You I meant well, I just let the issues of my life leak the story I didn’t wanna tell. I handled the situation immaturely buying trinkets when the bills were due, not doing my homework cuz of these feelings I feel for you. Why should you stay? You wanna leave cuz you don’t see me that much, got me feeling like LeBron missing the last second shot at your heart, now you doubt my clutch. No faith in us is what you have, no hope you quit, and you’re mad that I’m mad? For your reasons to leave you cite my smart remarks, or witty jabs, or how I sometimes treated you like a meat slab. I can’t apologize for my hormones, but I can apologize for my lack of control. Hey, I admit it, you got a nice booty, but I never once thought that was a major factor in your overall beauty. You want a reason to stay, how about how open I was even though I never open the gates, you offered to help me with my drama when I would have written it off as a cold case. Another reason, no matter how broke I was I never asked you for a dime, gotta be a man & take care of mine. It’s easy to please me, hard to see me, but do you really think the latter is a reason for leaving? If you walk away, I’ll grab your hand & say “NO!”, there’s something I gotta break down to you before you go. When I see you it’s more amazing than the Aurora Borealis, when you leave I feel like Saddam did when they ran him from his palace. Baby, I ain’t tryna have you filled with malice, I just want you to know you were my chalice, I held you up to a high esteem, when I awoke to see you I was living a dream. You gotta grow & so do I, I did awhile ago, but this time I won’t cry. Is it weak to cry for you? Nah, it’s weak if I don’t try for you. Your exodus would have my life jammed up like a wrong move in Tetris. I’m only one man, I’m not perfect & haven’t pretended that I am, I slipped up, and, for what it’s worth I understand, I should have regarded you as a priority instead of always being on demand, instead of phone calls I watched direct tv, while you needed my attention directly. Reason to stay is cuz I gave you me, I love you, & I love you tough, but to say, “Cuz I love you!” as a reason to stay, just ain’t enough…

- JioVanni

State Of The Union

Hmm...

In a country where sterotypes run rampant, and out of date styles are being revamped and, where people kill each other over a color, and where crack will make a sister murder her brother...I sit @ 3:52am...thinking like always, how many times will we point the finger, while deep inside of us the same actions linger, you all jump to attention when someone black experiences racism or dies, but otherwise you'll never see that fire in your eyes. Everyone is afraid of what others may think, while our children are on the streets leaking, like a broken sink. No matter how many times our elders tell us, we'll look at them like that's back in your day there ain't shit you can tell us. They say they remember when ladies were classy, now all dudes want is a girl who sucks dick and wants it nasty. They say ladies carry yourselves with dignity, so why a lot of teens saying, "put it into me." Sad that our country that was built on blood, tries to say that for all of it's inhabitants it has love. I shrug, and now it's 3:58, why am I doing this thinking and it's so late. On the eve of a new year, Times Square will be filled, not thinking on those same streets people were killed. Nah, it's all about living for the now, get drunk, get high, "you know how you got here?" "Don't ask me how.." A world full of bitches, and I don't mean women, I mean dudes that stay strapped cuz they softer than little children. These are the male role models that we have, couldn't last 2 seconds with Felix Trinidad. I'm sick of my young black peers obsessed with money, shoes, fame, and all that really means nothing. Everytime I turn around there is a song about cars, pussy, cash and how these rappers buy out the bars. George Bush...not enough words for that cat, nothing but a disgrace, and that's a fact. It's funny how the majority of the blacks complain, but you didn't go to vote cuz you would have had to stand in the rain. Ironic, that I'm pointing the finger, cuz to be truthful I ain't vote either. So many people rallying around this black incumbent, but it's only cuz of his skin that you love it. It's funny how many consider us a joke, and everytime we fulfill their view, it's some more fun they poke. New Orleans still hasn't been resolved, it's okay Reggie Bush is there so rejoice ya'll. Well I can see through the smokescreen, maybe the NFL manipulated the "state" of the teams. I guess nobody peeped it, funny cuz it was in front of you every weekend. People dying in Columbus at an all-time rate, record is in the hundreds, and from breaking it I think we less than 8. Murder, death, aids, poverty, all the while we still are made a mockery. In 2006 going on 7 racism is going strong it still hasn't lessened. I don't care if you disagree, this is me, but tell me, WHY DID THE TERMINATOR DECIDE TO SKI???? Much bigger problems in Cali than slopes, like the killing of a man who reformed you know? We got a rancher for a Prez, and Cali has a snowboarder, meanwhile we treat Mexicans like a plague and don't let them cross the border. What happened to give me your tired, your poor, you know what's on the statue of liberty? I guess with so many years since it was built, liberty has run out of energy. It's sad what happens to my black people, constantly looked down upon, laughed at behind closed doors, and our own men treat our women like whores. Maybe one day things will change, no time soon, but I'll do my best to beat that. It's time for a change, Martin was about it, X was about it, but now everybody talks about it, we got a long climb and it feels like we at the base of the mountain...

- JioVanni

A Mathematician's Dream

I dreamt a dream, a dream so vivid, I confused a fantasy with what I was living. A dream so real I couldn’t forget it, a straight line theme but I wanted to twist it, turn it into a dream into a prostitute so I couldn’t kiss it, it became annoying so when it left me I felt no need to miss it. Life is a board and you are the checker, if you don’t jump into kingship you’ll be haunted by the specter. A ghostly apparition, a roadblock in the completion of a mission, a fattening diet makes you in no way conditioned, so for the task ahead you hope it concedes to remission. How about we make the dream benign, it frequents the battlefield that is known as your mind. You can beat it that’s why your teeth always grind, you say you can beat it but you find yourself pushing the continue button one more time. In 7 days God made the heavens and the earth, add 5 to that and you get the number of months in a year that makes you berserk. 1 + 16 + 18 + 9 + 12 = 56. This also means something else whether you get paid or get another bill, because this number combination equals the month of April. Now if my calculations were correct this is the month you get your check, if you are wise you put some away for retirement, if you’re a gangsta you purchase another tech. Wait that makes no sense, gangsta’s have no nine to five, the payback they know is when a rival hood drives by. Now take the multipliers of this number and you get 9 * 7, a recurring number that makes your burdens get lessened. Another week for which you have been blessed, and an extra 2 days off to avoid stress. 1 + 1 = a couple in trouble, she wants him to quit, he thinks she’s knockin the hustle. “We eatin so bitch why the fuck is you trippin?” As so eloquently put by Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., she’s not a piano, so when she goes out you are happy because that’s what you tuned her. Deep down you wonder what broke up your happy home, maybe it’s because you both stopped clicking like a metronome. Maybe as I sit here one could think these are the ramblings of a mad man, people probably hate on me more than if I was an Iraqi or an Afghan. I wasn’t ready for the truth, I thought I had my situations tight, but I was so uncouth, a dream overwhelming heavy indeed, thought the pace I was going was cool, but you wanted me to decrease my speed. I hate this, all the opportunities and I left them sift through my fingers, I disgraced myself more than Johnny Knoxville in The Ringer. 3 + 25 = 28, ironic cuz that was the number of minutes today I was late. 7 *4 equal this number, and still with my abilities, I ended up here God I wonder.. is this the life You wanted for me, to be miserable and then sing a brutal melody. No, I can’t blame you, it’s my fault I’m divided, and it’s my fault that I didn’t utilize all the opportunities I was provided, it’s my fault I couldn’t put together 2 & 2, and then when I realized it, the opportunity was the thing I already blew. I’m single, I just want a matching boo, but before I can I to solve this catch 22. When I add up the division I get 7 and 4, so now I’m enraptured with my dream that much more. It’s sad the unwarranted hype that comes with a degree, you don’t believe? A prime example of belief in the hype is me, I could have made it but now I’m too comfortable with the system that’s more poignant than the sting from a bee. As an artist, a premonition is the only way you could ever see me, but I’ll hide that dream until later, now I must go back to grading this paper…

- JioVanni

More Than A Woman

Somethin I wrote this morning...9/1/06

You're more than a woman, more than beautiful, when the time comes they'll say it at your funeral, for now we'll talk about life, and how you appreciate it so much, cuz you don't get it twice. You have low confidence cuz you see these skinny girls, and you feel bad cuz you holdin down the thick girls, really they imitating wanna be pretty girls, inside I bet they are shitty girls, consumed by pretty pearls, and the many other things that go on in this shitty world.

You're more than a woman, more than pussy, my first intent was not to make you gushy, dudes can be so pushy, doing their worst cuz they don't care about you truly. They look at you enough when you wear baggy clothes, don't wear nothin tight, cuz then you one of the hoes they want on all fours, doin any and everything behind closed doors. They hesitate to be real, cuz they don't know how to deal with a woman who's queen of the Nile material. People ask why you're single cuz you're so pretty and nice, but it's cuz you talk once and think twice. Now me, I'm one of the good guys honest, so if you doubt me baby you should stop it, I know it's hard cuz it's the trick bad guys have adopted. You're more than a woman, intelligent beyond measure, so if you make it to the top, why everybody and they mama think it involved pleasure? It's crazy how they think of the quickest way to make you come, and I don't mean arriving, damn they so conniving, dreaming to have you writhing, payin no nevermind to what you think is exciting.

You're more than a woman, pretty teeth, pretty feet, you ooze sexuality but like to keep it discreet, you a lady in the streets, lady in the sheets, simultaneously a freak, but only for a man who takes you to that peak, yea you make me weak. You're more than a woman, your head ain't always glued to a cell phone, you ain't like the others pullin a Missy gettin they freak on. What happened to sexy, that shit perplexes me, there's no work involved anymore, if I'm wrong please check me. Luda had 'em Pussy Poppin, Nelly got 'em Tip Drillin, it's no wonder why porn is a lot of what cable and satellite are billin', and Lord willing you won't become the rest, cuz i'll have plenty of rage involved with that mess, I put you on a pedestal not cuz I'm obsessed, but because you deserve it and deserve nothing less. Today, tomorrow, years may pass, guys will still be thinkin about that ass, me? I'm more concerned with bein granted a pass, not to you, but to the next level of class, the Junior status is what I'll have. Just you remember, you colder than the winter, hotter than the summer, making a goofy guy like me sit back and wonder, how could they wanna tear YOU asunder?
But anyway, JioVanni has to go,You're more than a woman, I thought you should know.

- JioVanni

"Blind" - My Take on Seeing No Evil

I see no evil. Vision repeats the same scenes, but I think they're new, so I call them a sequel.

I see no evil. Bullets ravage bodies for the "greater good". Going against the grain is gettin harder to push.

I see no evil. Cops get the lights outta my eyes, do you really need to do that just to up my size? Reverse logic, blood profit, I feel like Dave Chappelle in that limo in front of that project.

I see no evil. Like the justice statue, but if they really want you nothing will stop them from gettin @ you.I'm supposed to see no evil. Going up the chain of command @ work is supposed to work against stress, but the higher I go I'm finding it's worthless.

I'm supposed to see no evil. Gotta disguise myself, when the book comes out, I pray it sells off the shelf.

I'm supposed to see no evil. When the soldiers come home, & when they grow old, they'll be sick when they realize they were just fighting for the throne.

I'm supposed to see no evil. But they won't see you either when their disavowal of you becomes clearer. I'm gettin papercuts from dealin with all these letters, but I'm liking how they got put together.

I'm supposed to see no evil. When the news comes on I'm already seein a censored version of a lie...The weasels!! Tell me the truth! I can take it, my mind is titanium, don't believe me? TRY & BREAK IT! HIV is caused by horizontal insertion into a vagina, & before you know it, you will really be spittin that fiyah...

I see evil... All the Jointz I have written up to now are just a prequel. An exhaustive process it is to love the world like it's mine but seeing what I see makes me wish I was nkoms...

- JioVanni

The Liar's Paradox

An in depth thinker he is, mind constantly grinding, the responses given the pressure are delivered with impeccable timing. He knows full well what you expect from him, he gets under your skin like the IRS being late with that check again. He sits in a crowd, possibly noticed, if he wanted to lead them, he'd probably be outvoted. He sits back & just watches the masses, he sees the outcome clearly, no need for glasses. They'll all rise up against a strict system, when the system kills them; they'll cover it up so only their families will miss them. The masquerade is brilliant, played to a T, turn the mission off & act like a child with glee. So when he executes it, they'll all be, "Damn, he fooled me!" Let's walk into a specific liar's mind for a short mile, & then it'll reveal if his actions are in any way similar to your style. He lies for self-preservation; he lies so as not to incur your harsh indignation. At the same time he says he's with his dudes, while really he's playin games with his other boo. He knows you'll be pissed, he knows it's you he dissed, so he gets candy & flowers & lies sayin you're the one he missed, but really what is this? Am I the only one thinking something's amiss? How you "Waiting To Exhale" one minute, & the next you're in a state of bliss? He has to lie, cuz the truth hurts him, he's always stewin about the girl who worked him. She took most of his dough, messed with friends on the low, hell; she was a better actress than any person on a TV show. She punched him in the gut when he opened up to her, she offered the butt cuz love meant nothing to her. He's got the gates up now, heart's taped up now, all knowledge of her he will disavow, just call him the U.S. like they treat P.O. dub's, he paid for "us", while she just put him on her tab at the pub, when you think about it, that's real messed up. Is this a defense for the paradox of the liar? No. This is just the liar's truth & I'm the provider. See, a lie is not a lie unless it intends to hurt, HE lies as a defense mechanism so as not to be hurt. Paradox by definition is contradictory, so when he's lost, he's expressing a paradoxical victory…

What you have to understand is she's reserved in nature, petrified of a man's touch cuz of the uncle that raped her. She's not sturdy, her reflection won't face her, what do you expect when she has a horrible foundation, like a proclaimed "artist" who's really a tracer. Speaking of automobiles, her feelings were eaten away fast, like meals on wheels. She's always on the move like a crackhead fiend, in school she's given a new definition for "go between". Let's take a look at a little lady crumbled, she's been slandered more than a running back in the Super Bowl who fumbled. Gotta give a flawless performance, but it's hard to be a good actress when your emotions are dormant. They make her feel useless, like she shouldn't have been born, she's not important, so I'll just say they make her feel umbilical cordless. You can't yell at her, she'll just sex you, cuz in her mind she thinks you're sayin, "This is all I expect from you." So when you accept & you thinkin you knockin it out, she's laying there emotionless waiting for you to get out. When I think of her, I think of Ursa, main character in Corregidora, but if you've never read it then you ain't heard of her. See a lot of guys think girls who wait are stuck up & need to get with the program, I'm just tryna get so many of them DE-programmed…

- JioVanni

Masks

Heat rises to the surface as it is applied, if it's good no one could identify you if they tried. Some use them to hide disfigurements, others use it until that tattoo is removed cuz no one would be digging it. They can be used as an adaptation to a climate that's frigid, or during poker to hide an expression that indicates you were inconsistent. Firefighters use them to fight the heat from the flame, policeman do so in case of retaliation the criminal can't match the face to the name. Even Ohio State wears on its plain to see, they love you? See what happens if you try to attend for free. The gloves & it comes off until you agree to pay the fee. Husbands & wives wear them it's a hard job but they continue to work it, you love the couple cuz they keep it hot like a furnace, don't kid yourself they are far from perfect. Marriage is a beautiful union, indeed it's true, but if you think it's flawless then it ain't for you. You have to take it off just to generate interest, you have to put on a display like a park picnic. Playas, pimps, mac's, ballas, they wear them too, they don't give a damn about a bitch, they just say that to you. There was a time when he was bare, he had feelings so he started to care. She hurt him cut his heart deep, just like the dog in the yard, if left alone too long, he doesn't wine, he weeps. Do you have any idea what it's like to take it off, then have to get another one that's uncomfortable & not even soft? Alone through the mist stands a general in the mask department, has them under the seat, the trunk, in a bag & the glove compartment. Even he doesn't know exactly when it started, but he knows what event most likely caused it. He wears it so tight it cuts off the blood to the rest of his limbs, he doesn't know if he's acting for you, or really being him. Two of his favorites often pop to the surface, one of limitless rage, and another with the feeling of is it really worth it? Now he will always be His servant, but his life is out of place like a drunk driver swerving. It seems only a select few are true, while everyone else is fake, he took the time to reach out, but how much more will it take. He realizes the got them on too, no time for new relationships, "I'll just stick with this crew." That's why he's always alone, no one thinks to invite him anywhere on the weekends via IM, e-mail, facebook or telephone. That same phone he now sits & looks at, thinking entries 5-10 on the speed dial should have never been set. The same "friends" he wished a safe & blessed break don't have the decency to return the gesture in the little time it will take. So if he don't really fuck with you don't be surprised, just reflect on how you shoved away his niceness all those times. He realizes that he should have never cared, these listed actions only prove they are scared. 4:33am, 3/20/07 and he's thinking, which one needs to be put on to require one to enjoy binge drinking? Throw up, forget the night, then run and tell the police your tale of plight. "I got raped, he took advantage of me!!" You could have gotten killed so shut the fuck up and consider yourself lucky, your sober inhibitions hid the demeanor of, "I want him to fuck me.." Then you wonder why dudes shake their heads when they see ya, it's because you're used & uninteresting like an overcharged Visa. It comes off when a friend dies, & you wonder where he goes, if you did your part when they were living you should be the only one who knows. The general has a legion of them, and can switch between any at a given whim. The salute is getting old, along with that stiffly walk, he wants them all gone so he can truly talk. His pattern is predicted, his mind is afflicted, so much so that he doubts if he's gifted. He steps from the mist, thinking the rain is beautiful on a night like this. Walking so slow he steps on a glass shard, the loud crunch makes him realize he's on the boulevard. Here he learned how to turn things off, forge ahead for the green but he's not playing golf. The glass is from something previously broken that's been repaired, he wants to know who erect it, who could've dared, and for what he is witnessing he was not prepared. The "father", "brother", "sister", & "mother" make up his pedigree, now he sees the clock & it's 513, it is at this time I realize the general's me…

- JioVanni

Happy Child

This is an old one I wrote...

I wake up, loving the smell from my rose garden, Ahh, I love my garden. My bed, where me and my wife sleep, is old as made evident by the squeaks. Today I'll buy a new one, a king size perhaps, yea I know my wife would love that...Ow! Ow! why does my arm hurt me so? Only answer I get is hell if I know. Out of nowhere my things are disappearing, I like pranks, but these terms are not endearing. My arm still bothers me, worse this time, something's running down it in a straight line...My bed is gone, but it was just there! Lawd I feel like pulling out my hair! I sniff the air..now I realize the rose garden isn't there, oh man this is too much to bear. My arm oh God it hurts so much, I hear words but can only distinguish them as such, "Get your ass up nigger and get in the field!" Is this for me what life has to yield? I"m in the field, must be 100, oh if I could see my daughter I would love it... flies around my arm, they'll cut it off, thoughts of freedom, they'll shut em off. No reason to hope, no reason to try, I want to, but there is no reason to cry. My wife is dead, maybe my princess too, what the hell is it that gets me through? Lawd Jesus, I wish I knew, the only comfort is that she's with you. I'm sick of this, I'm sick of it all, I hate how they pray and prey on my downfall. I smell chicken feed, another day, more methods from them to tricken me, it sickens me, how they wanna plunge into the basest obscurity, and then force me to break my back, no pleasure involved, that is why I almost let go holding on to resolve. Relationship control, could quickly turn the youngest soul old. I need an outcry, but how can I, when the very second I do somebody must die. So powerless, I'm a strong black man but posess no prowess. They stripped it away, like they stripped my wife, God tell me is there more to this life? Nigger, porch monkey, bane of society, ugly, stupid, mongrel, animal, and nappy, everyday I hear this, do you think I'm happy?

- JioVanni