Promises, Promises { Pt. IV of JioVanni's Prayer }

How soon I forget where I came from, if I opened my ears I would hear you say, “I gave you your name son.” Then you have these idiots that worship the sun god who I know now to be Lucifer, death to him like a woman mad at a guy who abused her. I hate shapes. These shapes that I hate are triangles, stars & diamonds, ok…

I told you I was sorry TOO many times to count, but my actions make it seem like it’s your name I denounce. I’m hurt cuz my own mother thinks I’m hellbound, quizzing me on your name like learning about you is the class I chose to drop out. The world deems you worthless if you’re not talking large amounts, but it’s the one’s who are poor who have the riches, so who’s quantity matters now?

I think back to my youth & not too many years ago, when my personal war wounds made my inner blood flow. They say no one can, I mean I say no one can hurt you like family, I was never heard so I acted out my inner angry fantasies angrily. I was labeled a problem & looked at as a fixer upper by people who didn’t pay attention to the laws that were sent from the upper.

“I swear God I want you to kill her!” Youthful hatred inserted by evil never knowing that the sins of the father would lead to our home’s upheaval.


If I was scotch, my relationship with my mother was on the rocks, shaken & stirred & I took more than 007 shots. Benefit of the doubt, she’s my mother, all this crap until one day I would soon discover, that this was my destiny, my version of leprosy, I reached out to touch you & you were always there for me.


I remember being broken hearted when my brother wouldn’t pick me up, something happened; another chance & he would continually stand me up. I’d hate him then love him if he’d come sporadically but I didn’t know his disappointment was the devil’s way of attacking me.


Promises, promises… I have promises to keep, I’m mad at others when they lie but I’ve been breaking your heart for years & you silently weep.

I’m sorry…

**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni