The Audacity { Pt. II of JioVanni's Prayer }

Ashamed & confused are the feelings I currently get, feeling disgusted like a person who hocks up phlegm & accidently swallows it. For years I fought to be close to You, but now I see that fighting only disrupts my passionate groove.

Even the best fall down, but I fall often, does that mean I’m clumsy or a juggernaut when I’m focused on something? The fabric of my being is sometimes not worth believing but @ least I’m not a case like what’s made in basket weaving. Lyrically I feel I’m unmatched, but spiritually I’m in a rough patch. Comin’ up as a Witness, witnessing what I’ve witnessed, I’ve become highly inclined to be indignant. The “brothers”, the “elders”, they don’t scare me, & the circuit overseer got everyone jumping to a T. This religion kicks you out if you make a mistake or let a worldly influence slip but let me say it right, they have you disfellowshipped.

Sitting in the back, ducking out early, friends ain’t your friends no more, this isn’t God’s love surely! My mother was disfellowshipped for a 99 ¢ bottle of lotion, elders found out cuz another witness saw us in the cop car as she was done shopping for groceries. Putting all that work in only to have gossipers hit the reset button, after that experience I knew it meant nothing. Hear me out, they excommunicate you for being a sinner, but Jesus you let Judas sit with you @ dinner! You showed constant love that was never conditional, personally I believe they’re just too critical.

Then I look @ myself & see I’ve found confusion by my own admission, if lookin’ for religion was a cause, well I have no signatures on my petition. My ignition can’t be turned on because I left the keys in the kitchen, supposed to be well on my way but I find myself sittin, wheels spinnin’, a derelict individual with a short span of attention, oh yea I commit the same sins over & over again that I can’t forget to mention. I believe in Jesus & I know his story is not one of fiction & @ any moment He can come back & start rippin, takin’ the fornicators, atheists, homosexuals & start strippin the devils out of them to leave them kneeling & repentin’. Possibly this is the best I’ve ever written, the paper’s not wet & I’m not a young boy in class so here’s a new definition of paper spittin’.


I got another part comin’, this one’s finished, praying to God is a lifelong commitment…


**Fueled by passion, driven by pain before I die the world will know my name**

- JioVanni